. 635 

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'PV 1 

The Great Turkey-Stealing Gase 
of Watermelon County 




BECKLEY- ORDY COMPANY 


Chicago 





































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BECKLEY-CARDY COMPANY 


Publishers 


CHICAGO 






THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING 
CASE OF WATERMELON COUNTY 


NEGRO MOCK TRIAL 


By V. 0. GRAHAM 

Principal of the High School, NeAv Holland, Ohio 



; 

• » 
> »» 


BECKLEY-CARDY COMPANY 
CHICAGO 







Copyright 1917 by 
BECKLEY-CARDY COMPANY 


©CI.D 4861 9 



DEC 31 1917 

( 





CHARACTERS 


(Named in Order of Appearance) 

Booker T. Washington Wiseman. The Judge 

John Abraham Chisar Lincoln. . . .Attorney for the Plaintiff 

Cicero Napoleon B. Smith. Attorney for the Defendant 

George Jonathan Washington. Clerk of the Court 

William J. Sideburns Harris. The Sheriff 

Erias Thomas Jefferson Waters. The Defendant 

Widow Maria Miranda Johnson. The Plaintiff 

WITNESSES FOR THE PLAINTIFF 

Josiah Cunningham Turnipseed. . . .The widow’s hired man > 
Susie Cynthia Longerbone. The widow’s hired girl 

WITNESSES FOR THE DEFENDANT 

Mrs. Erias Thomas Jefferson Waters. . The defendant’s wife 
Mary Anne Brown. A restaurant mistress 


Nebuchadnezzar Jones 
Lucas Saint Luke 
John James Jones 
T. Jackson Johnson 
Zachary T. Augerhandle 
Noah Webster Wiseacre 

Time of Playing : 


JURORS 

James Monroe Quincy 
Stephen A. Judson 
Moses Kilgore Green 
Patrick Henry White 
Solomon Adams 
Gibson Gibbs 

Forty-five minutes 


NOTE : The number of jurors may, if desirerl, be limited to six. 

[3] 










COSTUMES 


Judge: Swallow-tailed coat and baggy trousers showing 
much wear. Powdered hair or white wig. Large square- 
rimmed spectacles. 

Attorney for the Plaintiff : Tuxedo coat and well-pressed 
trousers. High collar and large green bow tie. 

Attorney for the Defendant : Costume much like the pre¬ 
ceding. Pink bow and loud colored shirt. 

Defendant : Ragged clothes and generally thriftless appear¬ 
ance. 

Sheriff : Any official-looking uniform obtainable which al¬ 
lows room for padding to make the officer appear large. 
Mace and large star badge. 

Costumes of others to be appropriate to their parts. 

PROPERTIES 

« 

Three small tables for Attorneys and Clerk of Court and 
desk on raised platform for Judge. 

Chairs for Judge, Attorneys, Clerk of Court, Sheriff, Plain¬ 
tiff, Defendant, and Jurors. Chair placed in prominent posi¬ 
tion to serve as witness stand. 

Many reference books. 

Box with chicken feet protruding from slatted top, to repre¬ 
sent stolen turkey. 




[ 4 ] 


The Great Turkey-Stealing Case of 
Watermelon County 

Scene : A Courtroom 

Discovered, in their respective places: Judge; Attorney for 
Plaintiff ; Attorney for Defendant ; Clerk of 
Court; Sheriff; Plaintiff; and Jury. 

Judge [rapping on desk]. De Co’t will now come to awduh! 
[ To Attorney for Defendant] Mistuh Smith, is you 
ready ? 

Attorney for Defendant [rising]. Yassuh. [Takes seat.] 

Judge [to Attorney for Plaintiff]. Mistuh Lincum, is you 
ready ? 

Attorney for Plaintiff [rising]. Yassuh. [Takes seat.] 

Judge [to Clerk of Court]. Mistuh Wash’nton, state de 
case. 

Clerk of Court [rising and reading in loud voice]. De case 
ub de State ub Loosiana, Watermillion County, Possum 
Township, aginst Erias Thomas Jeff’son Watuhs, de¬ 
fendant, fuh de stealin’ ub one tuckey fum Widduh 
Maria Mirandy Johnsing, plaintiff; de said tuckey in 
question bein’ now in de possession ub de Co’t. [Takes 
seat.] 

Judge. She’iff, pro-juce de prisnuh. [Sheriff goes out and 
returns with Defendant, whom he places in chair. ] Ah 
now awduhs de zamination ub de witnesses fuh de plain¬ 
tiff. 


[ 5 ] 


6 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


Atty. for P. [rising and addressing Judge]. Yo’ honuh, mah 
fust witness is Widduh Maria Mirandy Johnsing. 

C. of C. | to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha'is, pro-juce Widduh Maria 
Mirandy Johnsing, fust witness fuh de plaintiff. [Sher¬ 
iff 'produces Widow Johnson and Clerk of Court, hold¬ 
ing a hook out to her, swears her in thus] Put yo’ lef’ 
han’ on de Bible an’ yo’ right ban’ in de aiah an’ repeat 
whut Ah says. [ Widow Johnson places right hand on 
hook and\ raises left hand.] Ah do solumly sweah to tell 
de trufe— 

Widow J. Ah do solumly sweah to tell de trufe— 

C. of C.—de whole trufe— 

Widow J.—de whole’trufe— 

C. of C. —an’ nutt’n but de trufe— 

Widow J.—an’ nutt’n but de trufe— 

C. of C. —unduh penalty ub mah honuh. 

Widow J.—-unduh penalty ub mah honuh. 

C. of C. Take de witness stan’. 

Widow J. Take de witness stan’. 

C. of C. [indignantly]. Hush up, ’oman! You ain’t got to 
say dem wuds! [Jurors laugh.] Take de witness stan’. 
[Widow J. hastily takes chair. \ 

Atty. for P. [to Widow Johnson]. Whut yo’ name, ma’am? 

Widow J. Widduh Maria Mirandy Johnsing. 

Atty. for P. Whut am yo’ c’rect age? 

Widow J. [hesitating, then addressing Judge]. Jedge, is Ah 
got to ansuh dat-ah question ? 

Judge [after pause]. Sorry, ma’am, but Ah reckons yuh 
is. 

Widow J. [to Attorney for Plaintiff] . Well [pause], ef Ah 
libs to de twenty-fibt ub nex’ mont’ All’ll be jess twenty- 
fibe yeahs ol’. 



THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


7 


Atty. for P. Widduh Johnsing, does yon beliebe dis-heah 
Erias Thomas Jeff’son Watuhs, defendant, done stole yo’ 
tuckey ? 

Widow J. Yassuh, Ah sutt’nly does! 

Atty. for P. Whut groun’s is yuh got fuh beliebin’ hit? 

Widow J. [ becoming greatly excited]. Yo’ honuh, Ah done 
see dat nigguh climb ober de fence, sneak up along it like 
a po’ whipped dawg, climb up on de tree, an’ grab mall 
fine fat tuckey befo’ dat fowl kin say a wud. Dat-ah 
low-down nigguh— 

Atty. for D. [jumping up and addressing Judge]. Yo’ 
honuh, Ah protess aginst dat kin’ ub langwidge in de 
Co’t! 

Judge [ opening large book on desk and, holding it upside- 
down, pretending to consult it]. Any langwidge goes in 
de Co’t ’cep’n takin’ de name ub de Lawd in vain [Clerk 
of Court takes book from Judge, turns it right-side up 
and returns it] aw any sland’rous talk. [ Closes book 
noisily.] Objection obuh-ruled. [Attorney for De¬ 
fendant takes seat.] 

Atty. for P. [to Widow Johnson]. Is you sho dat-ah man 
wall Mistuh Watuhs? 

Widow J. Ah sho is sho ! 

Atty. for P. How come yuh wuz able to distingwitch ’im ? 

Widow J. Wy, de moon wah shinin’ bright, an' Ah done 
know dat-ah Watuhs fuh fawty yeahs. 

Atty. for D. [rising]. Yo’ honuh, kin Ah ax de widduh a 
question ? 

Judge. Ah reckons yuh kin. 

Atty. for D. [to Widow Johnson]. How ol’ is you done say 
you is? 

Yidow J. Ah’s jess twenty-fibe yeahs ol’. 


8 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


Atty. for D. An’ yuh’s knowed Mistuh AVatuhs fuh fawty 
yeahs? [ Takes seat.] 

Atty. for P. [hastily]. Witness exchanged ! [Widow John¬ 
son withdraws.] Mah nex’ witness is Miss Susie Cynthia 
Longabone. 

C. of C. \to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha’is, pro-juce de witness. 
[Miss Longerbone sworn in as was preceding witness and 
seated in witness chair.] 

Atty. for P. Whut yo’ name? 

Miss Longerbone. Mah name am Miss Susie Cynthia Longa¬ 
bone. 

Atty. for P. Whut am yo’ occypation? 

Miss L. Ah is de widduh’s hiah’d gal. 

Atty. for P. Miss Longabone, does you beliebe dat dis-heah 
man [ pointing to Defendant] done stole de said tuckey 
in question? 

Miss L. A r assuh, Ah is pos’tib ub it. 

Atty. for P. Whut am yo’ reason fuh beliebin’ de same? 

Miss L. Wy, de nex’ day Ah wah gwine up-town an’ Ah done 
meet dat-ah nigguh an’ he hab tuckey fedduhs all obuh 
’is clo’es. 

Mr. AVaters. Dat am a lie! 

Judge [rapping on desk]. Awduh in de Co’t! 

Atty. for P. Witness exchahged. [Miss Longerbone with¬ 
draws.] Mah nex’ witness am Mistuh Josiah Cun’ham 
Tunnipseed. 

C. of C. [to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha'is, pro-juce Josiah Cun’- 
ham Tunnipseed. [Witness sworn in and placed in 
chair.] 

Atty. for P. [to Mr. Turnipseed]. Whut yo’ name? 

Mr. Turnipseed. Mah name am Josiah Cun’ham Tunnip¬ 
seed. 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


9 


Atty. for P. Whut does yuh do fuh a libin ’ ? 

Mr. T. Ah is de widduh’s hiah’d man. 

Atty. for P. Mr. Tunnipseed, whut does you know ’bout dis- 
heah tuckey-stealin ’ ? 

Mr. T. Ah done take keah dem tuckeys an’ Ah knows all 
’bout dat-ah fowl. 

Atty. for P. How ol ’ wall de said tuckey in question ? 

Mr. T. How ol’ wall dat-ah tuckey? Hit wall seben yeahs, 
eighteen mont’s, an’ thutty-fibe days ol’, suh. 

Atty. for P. Some ol' bud, dat!—Witness discused. [To 
Judge, as witness withdraws ] Yo’ honuh, dis-heah com¬ 
pletes de zamination ub de witnesses. [Takes seat.] 

Judge. Ah now awduhs de zamination ub de witnesses fuh de 
defendant. 

Atty. for D. [rising]. Ah wishes to zamine Miz Erias 
Thomas Jeff’son Watuhs. 

C. of C. [to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha’is, pro-juce Miz Watuhs. 

. [Witness sworn in and placed in chair.] 

Atty. for D. [to Mrs. Waters]. Whut yo’ name, ma’am? 

Mrs. Waters. Miz Erias Thomas Jeff’son Watuhs. 

Atty. for D. Am Erias Thomas Jeff’son Watuhs yo’ 
husban’? 

Mrs. W. Yassuh, he am, yo' honuh. 

Atty. for D. Miz Watuhs, whut am de cha’actuh ub yo’ 
husban’? 

Mrs. W. Wy, dat-ah man am de bes’ man in Watermillion 
County, bless him ol’ haht ! 

Atty. for D. Does yo’ ol’ man like tuckey? 

Mrs. W. He sho do, yo ’ honuh ! 

Atty. for D. Would yo’ husban’ steal to sat’sfy his hunguh? 

Mrs. W. No, suh, yo’ honuh, dat-ah man am too good a nig- 
guh fuh dat! 


10 


The great turkey-stealing case 


Atty. for D. Witness exchahged! [Mrs. Waters with¬ 
draws.] Now, Ah wishes to zamine Miss Mary Anne 
Brown. [ Witness sworn in. ] 

Atty. for D. Miss Brown, wuz yon in yo ’ rest-rant, on de said 
night in question? 

Miss Brown. Yassuh, yo’ honuh, Ah w T ah. 

Atty. for D. Wah Mistuh Erias Thomas Jeff’son Watnhs in 
yo ’ place ub business on de said night in question ? 

Miss Brown. Yassuh, yo’ honuh, he wah. 

Atty. for D. Witness discused. [To Judge, as Miss Brown 
withdraws ] Yo’ honuh, dis-heah completes mah zamina- 
tion ub witnesses. 

Judge. Ah now awdahs de cross an' zamination ub de wit¬ 
nesses. 

Atty. for D. Ah would fust like to cross an’ zamine de fust 
witness full de plaintiff. 

C. of C. Widduh Johnsing, take de witness stan’. [Widow 
Johnson takes chair.] 

Atty. for D. Miz Johnsing, whut sawt ub a tuckey wah de 
said fowl in question? 

Widow J. Hit wah a fine young tuckey, one ub de best tuckeys 
Ah got. 

Atty. for D. IIow many tuckeys is yuh got ? 

Widow J. f mournfully ]. Ah jess had one fine young tuckey 
Ah been keepin’ fuh fibe yeahs till Ah could git ’nough 
money to buy some crambe’ies to eat wid hit. An’ den 
dat-ah low-down nigguh done come and tuck— 

Judge [rapping for order]. All you needs to do is to ansuh 
questions! 

Atty. for D. [to Widow Johnson]. How oV wah yo’ tuckey? 

Widow J. Dat-ah tuckey wah eighteen mont’s oH, suh. 

Atty. for D. An’ yuh been keepin' him fibe yeahs!—Witness 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


11 


discused. [Addressing Judge, as Widow Johnson with¬ 
draws] Yo’ honuh, All requests dat de ebi-dence be zam- 
ined as regahds de age ub de said fowl in question. 

Judge [to Sheriff). Mistuh Ha’is, zamine de ebi-dence as 
regahds de age ub de said fowl in question. 

Sheriff. How Ah gwine do dat ? 

Atty. for D. How is yuh? Wy, look at ’is teef, ub cose! 
[To Judge] Yo’ honuh, Ah would nex’ like to cross an’ 
zamine Miss Susie Cynthia Longabone. 

C. of C. [to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha’is, pro-juce Miss Susie 
Cynthia Longabone. [Miss Longerbone placed in witness 
chair. ] 

Atty. for D. Miss Longabone, wlmt sawt ub night wah de 
said night in question ? 

Miss L. Dat-ah night wah one ub de mos’ beautifullest nights 
Ah ebbuh seed. 

Atty. for D. [aften examining almanac ]. Miss Longabone, 
de Doctuh Kilem’s Almanac shows distinckly dat de said 
night in question wah a berry dahk night an ’ dat de moon 
wah completely hid. | Witness shows surprise .] Does 
you beliebe dat Mistuh Watuhs done stole dat-ah tuckey? 

Miss L. Ah sutt ’nly does, yo ’ honuh ! 

t 

Atty. for D. Why does yuh ? 

Miss L. Wy, de nex’ day Ah done see dat-ah Watuhs an’ 
he hab tuckey fedduhs all obuh ’is clo’es. 

Atty. for D. [to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha’is, is you done com¬ 
pleted yo’ zamination ? 

Sheriff [looking puzzled ]. Dis-heah tuckey ain’t got no teef! 

Atty. for D. [surprised]. How dat? A tuckey ain’t got no • 
teef!' [Scratching head thoughtfully ] Say, whah you 
done look for dem teef? 

Sheriff. Wy, in ’is mouf, ub co’se! 


12 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


Atty. for D. [ indignantly ]. Wy, you pc’ simple nigguh, 
you, a tuckey’s teef is in ’is feet! 

Sheriff [examining turkey’s feet]. Yo’ honuh, lie got fo’ 
good teef on each foot—one toof on one laig an’ two teef 
on de udduh laig. 

Atty. for D. Well, less see—dat make ten teef, don’ it? A 
tuckey wid ten teef am considuh’d ruthuh ol\ [To wit¬ 
ness] Miss Longabone, how ol’ wall de said fowl in 
question ? 

Miss L. Yo’ honuh, dat-ah fowl wall seben yeahs, eighteen 
mont’s, an’ thutty days ol’, suh. 

Atty. for D. Dat’s jess wliut de widduh’s hiah’d man done 
say. An’ yuh says dey wuz tuckey fedduhs all obuh 
Mistuh Watuhs de nex’ day? 

Miss L. Yassuh, dey wuz. 

Atty. for D. Witness exchahged. [To Sheriff, as Miss 
Longerbone withdraws] Mistuh ifa’is, did yuh notice 
any tuckey fedduhs missin ’ ? 

Atty. for P. [jumping up and addressing Judge]. Heah, yo’ 
honuh, Ah hoi’s dat-ah am a trick question! 

Judge [to Attorney for Defendant]. State de question a 
little mo’ def’nite. 

Atty. for D. [to Sheriff]. Did you fin’ any fedduhs missin 
fum de tuckey? 

Sheriff. No, suh, yo’ honuh. 

Atty. for D. Yo’ honuh, Ah requests dat de ebi-dence be 
pass roun’ to de Ju’y, dat dey may assuhtain de trufe ub 
dese-heah state-ments. 

Judge [to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha’is, pass de ebi-dence to de 
Ju’y full dey inspection. [Sheriff passes turkey about 
among Jurors.] 



THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


13 


Atty. for D. Yo honuh, Ah nex' wants to cross an’ zamine 
Mistuh Josiah Cun’ham Tunnipseed. 

C. of C. [to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha’is, pro-juce Mistuh Josiah 
Cun’ham Tunnipseed. [Mr. Turnipseed led to wit ness 
chair by Sheriff.] 

Atty. for D. Mistuh Tunnipseed, wuz you home on de said 
night in question ? 

Mr. T. Yassuh, yo’ honuh. 

Atty. for D. Did yuh heah any racket in de chicken yahd on 
de said night in question? 

Mr. T. No, suh, yo’ honuh. 

Atty. for D. Mistuh Tunnipseed, is Widduh Johnsing in 
putty po’ succumstances ? 

Atty for P. [jumping up and addressing Judge]. Yo’ honuh, 
Ah objecks to dat kind a question on de groun’s dat hit 
ain’t got nutt’n to do wid de case. 

Judge [looking into bodk before used]. De law allows hit. 
Objection obuh-ruled. 

Atty. for D. Mistuh Tunnipseed, is de Widduh Johnsing in 
putty po’ succumstances finanshly? 

Mr. T. No, suh, Ah beliebes de widduh am putty well fixed, 
but she try to conceal de same. 

Atty. for D. Wliut am de cha’actuh ub de widduh ? | Widow 
Johnson rolls eyes at Attorney for Defendant.] 

Mr. T. Well, Ah don’ like to say nutt’n aginst de widduh, 
suh, but Ah has to say dat ef she see a chance to make a 
nickel dishonestly, she’ll do it, suh. 

Widow J. [jumping up and shaking fist at witness ]. You 
low-down nigguh! You’ll lose yo’ job fuh dat! 

Judge [rapping on desk]. Awduh in de Co’t! [Widow John¬ 
son sinks back in seat.] 


14 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


Atty. for D. One mo’ question. \To witness.] Wliut am de 
age nb Mistuh Watuhs an’ wliut am his cha’actuh? 

Mr. T. Dat-ah man am thutty-eight yeahs ol’, suh. Ah's 
knowed ’im a mighty long time an ’ dat am his c ’rect age. 
Ah beliebes he am a good man. 

Atty. for D. Witness exchahged. [To Judge, os Mr. Turnip- 
seed withdraws] Yo’ honuh, dis-heah completes mail 
cross an’ zamination. [Takes seat.] 

Judge. Ah now awduhs de cross an’ zamination ub de wit¬ 
nesses fuh de defendant. 

Atty. for P. [ rising and addressing Judge]. Yo’ honuh, Ah 
would fust like to cross an' zamine Mistuh Erias Thomas 
Jeff’son Watuhs. 

C. of C. [to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha is, pro-juce Mistuh Watuhs 
to take de oat’. [Sheriff produces Defendant.] Re¬ 
peat, aftuh me whut Ah says: “Ah do solumly sweah”-— 

♦ 

[Defendant takes oath.] 

Atty. for P. Mistuh Watuhs, wheah wuz you on de said 
night in question ? 

Mr. W. Ah wall home, suh. 

Atty. for P. Is yuh sho ? 

Mr. W. Sho as dat Ah is a prisnuh, suh! Dat wall de night 
mah ol’ ’oman crack mah Raid wid a rollin’ pin.—Say, 
dat ol ’ ’oman sho am handy wid a rollin ’ pin! 

Atty. for P. [hastily']. We don' keali nutt’n ’bout dat!— 
An’ you says you didn’ steal dat-ah tuckey? 

Mr. W. No, suh! 

Atty. for P. But we got de ebi-dence lieali [pointing to tur¬ 
key]. Whut yuh got to say ’bout dat? 

Mr. W. Dat am mah tuckey, suh. 

Atty. for P. IIow kin yuh proobe dat? 


• THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


15 


Mr. W. Wy, look at 'is teef, an' see ef yuh don’ fin’ one uh 
’em broke off. 

Atty. for P. Witness exchanged ! [To Judge, as Defendant 
withdraws ] Yo’ honuh, All would like nex’ to cross an’ 
zamine Miz Watuhs. 

C. of C. [ to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha’is, place Miz Watuhs on de 
witness stan’. [ Witness takes chair.] 

Atty. for P. [to witness]. Wah Mistuh Watuhs home on de 
said night in question ? 

Mrs. W. No, suh. 

Atty. for P. But Mistuh Watuhs done say he wah home dat 
night. 

Mrs. W. Dat ol ’ man pow ’ful fuhgitful! Ebbuh sence he 
done hab dat-ah stroke ub applefexy he haid ain’t been 
jess right. 

Atty. for P. Ah done notice dat!—Witness discused. [ To 
Judge, as witness withdraws] Yo’ honuh, Ah would 
nex’ like to cross an’ zamine Miss Mary Anne Brown. 

C. of C. [to Sheriff]. Mistuh Ha ’is, place Miss Brown on 
de witness stan’. [Witness takes chair.] 

Atty. for P. [to witness]. Wah Mistuh Watuhs in yo' place 
ub business on de said night in question? 

Miss B. Yassuh, he wah. 

Atty. for P. How long he done stay deah ? 

Miss B. Well, he us’ally stay till ’bout ten-thutty, but dis 
time Ah done make ’im go at ten. 

Atty. for P. Witness discused. [To Judge, as Miss Brown 
withdraws] Yo’ honuh, dis-heah completes de cross an' 
zamination ub de witnesses. [Takes seat.] 

Judge [to Attorney for Plaintiff]. Ah now awduhs yo' 
.plea, Mistuh Lineum. 


16 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


Atty. for P. [ rising and addressing Judge]. Yo' honuh, Ah, 
John Abraham Caesuh Lincum, Attunny fuh de plaintiff, 
Widduh Maria Mirandy Johnsing, now wishes to draw 
yo’ ’tention to a few facks. Would you like to spen’ 
many days takin ’ keah ub a tuckey an’ den hab some low- 

down dahkey come ’long an’ steal hit? Widduh Johnsing. 

• 

am a hahd-wucking ’oman an’ de loss ub dis-heah tuckey 
mean a mighty lot to huh. Fum de appea’ance ub de wid¬ 
duh yuh would t’ink she got plenty money, but don’ yuh 
be mislaid by dis, for appea’ances ain’t a good t’ing to 
jedge by. Widduh Johnsing am a neat, beautiful an’ 
elephant ’oman an’ she done affirm her pocketbook am 
berry low— 

Atty. for D. [in loud aside]. Yes, Lawd, an’ it’ll be a heap 
sight lowuh when you gits thu wid it! [Jurors laugh and 
Judge raps for order.] 

Atty. for P. Futhuh-mo ’, less look into de Bible, in de twen¬ 
ties chaptuh ub Exidox, de fifteent’ vuss, an’ we shall 
read [with dramatically warning gesture] : “Thou shalt 
not steal!” Ah’s done prooben Mistuli Watuhs guilty ub 
stealin’ dis-heah tuckey, deaf o’ dis-heah alone am enough 
to convick Mistuh Watuhs.—Now, consunnin’ de cha’ac- 
tuh ub Mistuh Tunnipseed: Ain’t he done git up an’ 
testify ’ginst de widduh, who tuck ’im in when he 
wah a dirty, homeless waif an’ gib ’im a home an’ tenduh 
keah? [Addressing the Jury] Now, Mistuh Ju-uhs, 
look into de co’thouse recawds an’ you-all ’ll fin’ hit ’s 
gittin’ to be kin’ ub a habit wid Mistuh Tunnipseed to 
be in jail ’bout once a yeah fuh stealin’ hawgs. Deahfo’, 
Mistuh Ju’uhs, you-all caint reply upon dis-heah nigguh’s 
testification.—As regahds de ebi-dence ub Miss Mary 
Anne Brown, well we kin tell by de looks ub huh dat she 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


17 


am a dishonest pusson. But ain’t she done say Mistuh 
Watuhs wah in huh place ub business till ten o’clock dat 
night? Well, Ah kin see as dat don’t mean nutt’n, for 
dey is plenty ub time aftuh ten o’clock to steal tuckeys. 
Ah knows ’cause Ah done stole ’em mysef. [Judge 
shows astonishment.'] Mistuh Ju’uhs, you-all is gwine 
gib yo’ decision in favuh ub de plaintiff, fuh Ah kin tell 
by de look ub yuh dat yuh wants to go to hebben when 
yuh dies, an’ you-all knows dat in awduh to git deah, 
yuh mus’ obey de wud ub de Lawd.—Is yuh ebbuh notice 
how de attunny fuh de defendant puts up a pitiful mout’ 
to de ju’y? All’ll bet mah las’ dolluh dat’s whut he 
gwine do dis time, an’ don’ you-all let ’im ’rouse yo’ 
sym’thies in favuh ub de prisnuh!—Now fuh de proof 
Ah’s got. Didn’ de widduh git up an’ test’fy dat she 
done see Watuhs steal huh tuckey? Ain’t dat enough? 
Also, hit seem mighty strange dat Mistuh Tunnipseed 
an’ Miss Longabone could bofe test’fy to de age ub 
de said tuckey in question, to de berry yeah, mont’ an’ 
day. How dey done know dey gwine be ax dat question? 
Why dey done figguh out de age ub dat-ah tuckey so 
accu’ately?—Hon’able Ju’uhs, you-all knows dat de wid¬ 
duh am a po’ hahd-wuckin’ ’oman an’ dat dat-ah.tuckey 
meant a mighty lot to huh. Jess considuh dis-heah case 
fum de stan ’point ub de widduh. As Ah done said befo ’, 
how would you-all like to spen’ a lot ub time an’ money 
raisin’ a nice young tuckey, on’y to hab some low-down 
nigguh steal hit aftuh yuh been plannin’ to eat hit yo’- 
sef ? Ah jess ax yuh dat. [Dramatic gesture.] Ah jess 
ax yuh ! Hon’able jedges, Ah claims dat dis-heah ebi- 
dence done been made up in Mistuh Smith’s office. Yas- 
suh, Ah knows hit am! Wy, hit’s a te-uhble t’ing to fix 


18 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


up a scheme to steal a tuckey fum a po ’ widduh !—An ’ 
so now, Hon’able Jedge [bowing low to Judge ] an’ Mis- 
tuh Ju.’uhs [turning back to Jury], All done prooben dat 
Mistuh. Watuhs stole *dat-ah tuckey, ’cause de widduh 
done see ’im an’ Miss Longabone done see tuckey fed- 
duhs all obuh ’im nex’ day. So, lion’able jedges, please 
t’ink ub dese-heah facks when you-all renduhs yo’ deci¬ 
sion, an ’ also put yo ’sets in de position ub de widduh an ’ 
considuh how you-all would feel toahd Mistuh Watuhs. 
Now, lion’able jedges, dis-heah completes mah plea an’ 
once mo’ Ah ax you-all to treat de widduh as yuh would 
yo’sefs. [Takes seat , mopping brow .} 

Judge. Ah now awduhs de plea ub de Attunny full de De¬ 
fendant. 

Atty. for D. [bowing to Judge, Jury and courtroom ]. Yo’ 
honuh, gemmen ub de Ju’y, ladies an’ gemmen, habin’ 
brung dis-heah case to a close, Ah’s pos-tib dat Mistuh 
Watuhs [indicating Defendant by dramatic gesture ] am 
entiahly innuh-cent ub dis chahge brung aginst ’im by de 
Widduh Johnsing, State ub Loosiana, Watermillion 
County, Possum Township. All’s convinced dat dat po’ 
’cused prisnuh [dramatic gesture ] am de victim ub a 
grabe conspi’acy. Ah’s convinced ’cause ub mah own 
knowledge an’ dat which Ah done secu’ed fum de testifi¬ 
cation ub de witnessed. Now, gemmen ub de Ju’y, ef 
you-all’s done yo ’ juty like Ah hopes yuh is, an ’ followed 
dis-heah case keahf’ly, dey ain’t nutt’n else to it but dat 
you-all 'll declaah Mistuh Watuhs innuh-cent. Wy, gem- 
men, hit’s beyon’ mah powuhs ub comperhension to eben 
t’ink ub Mistuh Watuhs bein’ guilty, aftuh whut all dese- 
heah witnesses done say. Now, gemmen ub de Ju’y, jess 
lemme tell you-all a few t’ings dat tuck place in dese- 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


19 


heah testification perceedin’s. [One of the jurors falls 
asleep and remains so throughout remainder of plea.] 
Dat-ah widduh | pointing scornf ully at Widow Johnson] 
done say dat de night ub de stealin ’ nb de said tuckey in 
question wall a moonlight night. Well, de Doctuh Kilem’s 
Almanac say distinckly dat de said night in question wah 
a berry dahk night an’ de moon wah entiahly absent. Ef 
dat ’oman could distingwitch one nigguh out-uh a million 
on a berry dahk night, she mus’ a had a pe’iscope. An’ 
den dat-ah widduh try to tell you-all.dat de said fowl in 
question wah a young tuckey! Well, now, you-all knows 
dat Miss Longabone, huh hiah’d gal, done say dat-ah fowl 
wah perzackly seben yeahs, eighteen mont’s, and thutty- 
fibe days ol’. An’ huh hiah’d man, Mistuh Tunnipseed, 
done say de same t’ing, but de widduh say [imitating 
Widow’s voice and manner] “De fowl am eighteen 
mont’s ol ” Mebbe he wah eighteen mont’s ol ’ once, but 
dat time ain’t now, lemme tell yuh!—Well, den Miss 
Longabone say she knowed Mistuh Watuhs wah de man 
dat stole dat tuckey, ’cause he hab tuckey fedduhs all 
obuh ’is clo’es nex’ day. Well, Mistuh Ha’is, he say— 
an’ de Lawd know Mistuh Ha’is am a hones’ man!—he 
say dey wahn’t no fedduhs missin’. Gemmen ub de Ju’y, 
you-all knows de trufe ub dem state-ments.—Futhuh-mo’, 
Mistuh Tunnipseed done test’fy to de condition ub de 
widduh, bot’ finanshly an’ mo’ally. He say as consuns 
money de widduh am berry well fixed an’ don’ need de 
tuckey an’ she ain’ gwine be out anyt’ing by de loss ub 
de tuckey. An’ Mistuh Tunnipseed done test’fy dat de 
widduh wouldn ’ be above fixin ’ up a false chahge on Mis¬ 
tuh Watuhs. An’ futhuh-mo’ [ pausing impressively] 
Miss Brown, she done proobe a ally-by fuh Mistuh 


20 


» 


THE GREAT TURKEY STEALING CASE 


Watuhs. She done state dat Mistuh Watuhs wah in huh 
rest-rant on de said night in question. Dat alone proobe 
Mistuh Watuhs innuh-cent ub de chahge against ’im. 
—But to t ’ink ub a stingy ol ’ widduh tryin ’ to sen a po' 
man to prison by tellin’ a pitiful tale ub povuhty is 
entiahly beyon’ mah powuh ub comperhension. Wy, 
t ’ink ub it! Dat-ah widduh done try to ’rouse sym ’thy 
wid de Ju’y by sayin’ she’d been a-keepin’ dat-ah tuckey 
fuh fibe yeahs waitin’ to kill it till she could git de money 
toJmy some crambe’ies to eat wid it. Dat sho wah a mis¬ 
take, ’cause she done test ’fy dat de tuckey wah on ’y eigh¬ 
teen mont’s ol’ an’ de jedge hushed huh up. [ Addressing 
the Judge] Yo’ honuh, Ah sho am grateful to yuh fuh 
dat!—But [growing very mournful] to t’ink ub dat po’ 
excused prisnuli goin’ to prison [taking out large ban¬ 
dana and beginning to weep] an’ wucking ’is po’ life 
away [soft] tryin’ to pay fuh a [soft] tough ol’ tuckey he 
didn’ steal! [Dries tears and puts bandana into pocket.] 
Dat am somep’n Ah nebbuh does—Ah nebbuh tries to 
rouse symp’thy wid de Ju’y. Now, gemmen ub de Ju’y, 
you-all is ruthuh fond ub tuckey an’ ef you seed one loose 
you’d hab ’im. Jess beah dat in min’ when yuh makes 
yo’ decision. Ef you-all’s done follow dis-heah case 
keahf’ly Ah’s postib yuh’ll decide dat Mistuh Watuhs is 
entiahly innuh-cent ub dis-heah grabe chahge. [ Takes seat.] 
Judge [rising]. Gemmen ub de Ju’y, you-all’s done heah de 
ahgymentations ub dese-heah attunneys an’ de testifica¬ 
tions ub dese-heah witnesses an’ yuh’s zamined de ebi- 
dence. Now, de Co’t wants you-all to weigh dese-heah 
mattuhs berry keahf ’ly in yo ’ min’s an ’ tell whedduh yuh 
t ’inks dis-heah Erias Thomas Jeff’son Watuhs am guilty 
aw not guilty. You-all’s done heah dis-heah case an’ Ah 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


21 


axes yuh to be speedy an’ faah in yo’ decision. Does 
yon-all relize dat yuh gotta hab a perpondence ub ebi- 
dence to convick dis-heah man? Ef dis-heah man am 
declaahed guilty, he faces a prison turn uf fum six mont’s 
to six yeahs—so say de thutty-thud section nb de law ub 
Loosiana. So you-all sees, gemmen, why Ah axes yuh to 
be keahful in yo' decision les’ yuh sen’s a po’ innuh-cent 
man to prison aw tuns a tuckey-t’ief loose. Ef you-all 
t’inks Mistuh Watuhs am guilty, Ah axes yuh not 'to hab 
no hesintation to sen’ ’im to prison, faw ef he am a 
tuckey-t ’ief, we don ’ wan ’ ’im roun ’cause we wants all 
our tuckeys oursefs. Now, gemmen ub de Ju’y, Ah jess 
axes you-all to put yo’sefs in de place ub bofe Widduh 
Johnsing an’ Mistuh Watuhs an’ considuh how you would 
feel in secli a position an’ act accawdin’ly. Ah axes 
you-all to do dis ’cause Ah t’inks dat am de o’ny way to 
decide right. De good book say, “Do unto udduhs like 
you would hab udduhs do unto you.” Now, gemmen ub 
de Ju’y, jess considuh how a nice fat tuckey would tas’e, 
roasted real brown an’ floatin’ in coon gravy. [Jurors 
look longingly at turkey and one or two smack lips.] Ef 
you-all seed a tuckey handy, yuh might be temped to git 
’im yo’sefs. But, on de udduh han’, ef you done had a 
tuckey stole, yuh’d want de dahkey whut stole it to be 
punished. So now Ah dismisses you-all ,to make yo’ 
decision. 

[Jurors retire , with exception of sleeping member, who con¬ 
tinues to sleep till one of the others returns to courtroom, 
wakens him, and takes him out, stretching and yawning.] 

Enter Juror." 

Juror. Yo’ honuh, de Ju’y wishes de tuckey full a few mo- 


22 


THE GREAT TURKEY-STEALING CASE 


merits, to zamine hit, in awduh to detummin de trufe ub 
de testifications. 

Atty. for D. [rising J. Yo’ honuh, All requests dat Mjstuli 
Ha’is accompany de tuekey in awduh to—ah—well, you 
unduhstan’s. 

Judge [nodding knowingly]. Yeh-ah, yeh-ah, Ah unduhstan’s. 

| To Sheriff.] Mistuh Ha’is, Ah reckon yuh bettuh go ’long 
wid dat-ah tuekey. 

Sheriff. Yassuh. [Takes turkey and retires with Juror.] 

• Enter Jury, taking seats. 

Judge. Mistuh Jones, you kin repo’t de vuddick. 

Mr. Jones [rising]. Yo’ honuh, aftuh many ahgymentations, 
delibuh-ations, and meditations, we done decide dat Mis¬ 
tuh Watuhs am unanimously, irregahdlessly, an' widout 
any restrictions, what-so-ebbuh, entiahly innuh-cent. 

| Attorney for Defendant shows extreme joy, patting De¬ 
fendant on back and grinning. Attorney for Plain¬ 
tiff . appears much disgusted. Plaintiff and Defend¬ 
ant look puzzled.] 

Judge. Mistuh Watuhs, you is heah-by unaminously, irre¬ 
gahdlessly, an ’ widout any restrictions whut-so-ebbuh 
duly exquit ted. 

Mr. W. [looking ftightened]. Whut—wh—whut dat mean? 

Judge. Wy, you po’ innuh-cent nigguli, you, dat mean yuh 
ain’t guilty, dat yuh didn’ steal de tuekey, dat yuh is 
• ^ ree • -j[ f r 

Mr. W. Den Ah ain’t gotta gib de tuekey back? [Judge 
throws up hands, while Jury shows great amusement. 
Curtain may be dropped or actors may group themselves 
on stage and sing appropriate song.] 

1 . '• • curtain 























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» 

















































, 

































t 






































MORNING EXERCISES FOR ALL THE YEAR 

-A DAY BOOK FOR TEACHERS- 

By Joseph C. Sindelar 

Author of Nixie Bunny in Manners-Land, 

Nixie Bunny in Workaday-Land, etc. 

This is a new work just published—and the only really complete 
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It contains over 300 exercises, arranged day by day, there being an 
exercise for each morning of the ten school months, beginning with 
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There is an appropriate literary quotation for each day—303 in all, 
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has its own lesson and an abundance of the best material for use 
therewith. All special days and school occasions, also birthdays 
of noted men and women, are duly recorded and suitably com¬ 
memorated. The material is for all grades, and the teacher will 
find the book an invaluable aid in her work. * 

252 pages. Cloth. Price, 75 cents 

THE BEST CHRISTMAS BOOK 

Edited by Joseph C. Sindelar 

There is nothing better or newer published in the way of Christ¬ 
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and original, much of it having been written specially by Marie 
Irish, Harriette Wilbur, and Thos. B. Weaver. There is a wealth of 
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“Best” book of Christmas entertainment exercises published. Ar¬ 
ranged according to grades. 

The following list of classified contents will show the variety and 
scope of the work. Contents: 82 recitations, 36 quotations, 4 mono¬ 
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and marches, 4 acrostics and motion songs, 3 tableaux, 4 pantomimes 
and pantomimed songs, 9 songs with music, 8 songs of new words 
to old tunes, 14 facts regarding Christmas and Christmas customs 
in other lands. 

Illustrated. 192 pages. Paper. Price, 30 cents 


BECKLEY-CARDY CO. Educational Publishers CHICAGO 







LANGUAGE AND COMPOSITION BY GRADES 


-A HANDBOOK FOR TEACHERS--- 

Covering the Eight Grades of Elementary Schools 

By J. M. Hammond 

Principal of Morse School, Pittsburgh, Pa. 

This new work should be in the hands of every elementary school 
teacher, and if so, would go a long way toward meeting the need of 
ready expression in both oral and written language. The author 
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a series of type lessons in language and composition which are 
bound to revolutionize the teaching of this subject in the average 
schoolroom. 

9 

The book follows well established pedagogical principles and is 
divided into nine parts: one for each of the eight grades, and the 
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carefully graded, and more than enough has been presented to cover 
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results will prove most satisfactory. 

The necessity for the frequent review of language principles and 
practice is one reason for combining the eight-years’ course in one 
volume. Under this arrangement, the teacher will have ready access 
to what is offered in the other grades, and will therefore not be 
compelled to search continually for supplementary work. Beginning 
with exercises designed to set the young learner at his ease, the work 
is carried along from grade to grade, with proper and frequent 
reviews, until he has finished the eight years, equipped with a good 
working knowledge of expression that should fit him for entrance 
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may choose. Present-day methods call for less technical grammar 
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that fact in mind throughout the work. 

308 pages. Fully indexed. Cloth. Price, 85 cents 


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LANGUAGE GAMES FOR ALL GRADES 

-By Alhambra G. Deming —-- 

Principal Washington School, Winona, Minn. 

With Introduction by J. N. Adee, Supt. of Schools, Johnstown, Pa. 

Designed to establish the habit of correct speech and to increase 
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teaching the correct use of troublesome words and forms of expres¬ 
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90 pages. Cloth. Price, 40 cents 

CARDS TO ACCOMPANY LANGUAGE GAMES FOR ALL GRADES 

t Fifty-three cards, size 4 y 2 x 6 V 2 inches, for pupils’ use. 

Price, per set, 35 cents 

EASY THINGS TO DRAW 

By D. R. Augsburg 

Prepared particularly as an aid to teachers who lack training in 
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77 large pages. Paper. Price, 35 cents 

BEST PRIMARY SONGS 

By Amos M. Kellogg 

A collection of nearly sixty songs, suitable for primary and 
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48 pages. Paper. Price, 15 cents; per dozen, $ 1.50 


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By Joseph C. Sindelar. A rabbit story of the children of other 
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160 pages. Cloth. Price, 45 cents 

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160 pages. Cloth. Price, 40 cents 

STRAIGHT-LINE SEWING CARDS 

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NUMBER STORIES 

By Alhambra G. Deming. These stories are to be read to pupils 
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ONE HUNDRED STORIES FOR REPRODUCTION 

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PRIMARY LANGUAGE STORIES 

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-*-FOR ALL GRADES- 


BOW-WOW AND MEW-MEW 

By Georgiana M. Craik. Edited by Joseph C. Sindelar 

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THE NIXIE BUNNY BOOKS 


By Joseph C. Sindelar 

Nixie Bunny in Manners-Land—A Rabbit Story of Good Manners 
Nixie Bunny in Workaday-Land—A Rabbit Story of the Occupations 
Nixie Bunny in Holiday-Land—A Rabbit Story of the Holidays 

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Bow-Bow and Mew-Mew—Craik—Grades 1-2—95 pages (12 cents) 
Peter Rabbit and Other Tales—Grades 2-3 
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Enoch Arden—Tennyson—Grades 6-H. S. ^ 

The Vision of Sir Launfal and Other Poems—Lowell—Grades 6-H. S. 
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner—Coleridge—Grades 7-H. S. 

The Cotter’s Saturday Night and Other Poems— Burns—Grades 7-H. S. 
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